This is my latest idea. I turned an old story (Must Get Mentos from the Casual Psycho Phriends Series) into a radio drama. I plan on recording this in the studio or audio lab at NMU and then air it during my radio show. Tell me what you guys think!
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Marc (or anyone):
All references to commercial products in this radio show are used purely for humor and reference. This skit is by no means an advertisement and is in no way affiliated with the mentioned products. Enjoy the show!
[Mentos Commercial, faded in background]
Jamieson: Marc, are you ok? You’re sitting a foot away from the television and you haven’t twitched in over an hour.
Marc: [with commercial ending] Mentos, The Freshmaker!
Jamieson: Yeah… and you keep saying that. That’s a ruler you’re holding, not a Mentos tube. How many times have you watched that commercial anyway?
Marc: I dunno, I lost count after setting the TiVo to auto-repeat.
Jamieson: Well, I’d like to use my TV to watch Iron Chef this afternoon.
Marc: I have an idea. I’ll let you use your TV if you give me some Mentos… I NEED MENTOS!
Jamieson: What! [Slamming fists on table] This TV is mine! M-I-N-E, mine.
[Apartment Door opens and closes]
[TiVo sound, then Mentos Commercial restarts, faded in background]
Melissa: [tosses book bag into chair] Hey Jamieson, I just got this new DVD; I’m going to watch it on your TV.”
Jamieson: Why does everyone want to use my TV? Don’t you have a DVD player of your own?
Melissa: I only bought it ‘cause I planned on using yours. [unwraps and pops Mentos] Mmm, fresh breath. Oh, I know! Let’s watch your TV show, then watch my DVD.
Jamieson: [with a sigh] Well, I guess I could let you use it.
Melissa: [with commercial ending] Mentos, The Freshmaker!
Marc: I NEED MENTOS! Melissa, please give me one!
Melissa: Sorry, I just ate the last one.
Marc: [heavy sigh] oh…
Melissa: What’s so great about Mentos anyway.
Marc: Well, after watching TV for about three straight days, I think Mentos can solve all of my problems in life.
Jamieson: You want to get ahead in life? Get off my couch, get a job, and stop mooching off me.
Marc: Watch this.
Marc: [TiVo rewind sound] Ok, so here’s a senator in the congressional meeting with Mentos. [TiVo sound] Oh, this is good! Here’s footage of hurricane victims. Look at this guy right in front.
Melissa: [in disbelief] You’ve got to be kidding me. That guy has a pack of Mentos.
Marc: And he looks healthier after he eats one.
Jamieson: Wow, is it possible you could be any more gullible? Quick fixes don’t work. Life takes hard work and determination; “blood, sweat, and tears” and all that jazz.
Marc: Well, you go on thinking that; I’m going to get some Mentos.
[Marc starts walking away]
Jamieson: You might want to check your pockets.
Marc: Uh… I don’t have any money.
Jamieson: Yeah, that’s what I thought.
Marc: You wouldn’t by chance have an extra buck… would you guy?
Melissa: You’re not getting any money from me, you little mooch.
Jamieson: You borrow enough from me. Ask the Landlord, he’s bound to have some spare change.
Marc: You’re right. Jon would has lots of money!
[Marc walks out the door.]
Marc: Ok, Building Supervisor, this is the room.
Marc: [knocks on door] What could be going on today?
Jon: [overdone Asian accent] Marcus-san; what may I do for you?
Marc: I, uh… I need some money.
Jon: [still accented] Well, come in my student and I shall teach you many lessons.
Marc: [stepping through door] A Japanese Temple? Jon, remind me again, why is you’re apartment always changing into weird things?
Jon: [still accented] Room is made of the substance which makes me. It is… as I will it to be.
Marc: [uncertainly] Right… magic…
Jon: [coughs, begins using normal voice] Ugh, it’s hard to talk like that. Anyway, your lesson today shall be a lesson in pain! er I mean, work; a lesson in work.
Jon: Here, take this.
Marc: A wooden sword? What are we going to do with these?
Jon: You want the money, like everything else in your life, right now. You must learn patience. If we take the hard road and do some extra work, then our reward will be that much more gratifying.
Jon: Now, attack me! Give me a good fight and I will give you some money.
Marc: Well, I haven’t worked out lately… or ever, but I did watch Power Rangers the other day. I’ll try my best.
Marc: Hayah!
[wooden sword thumps as it hits Marc]
Marc: [falls to ground] Ommph!
Jon: Again!
Marc: [sighs, then] Hayah! [swords hits marc again] Ahh!
[sword hits… again and again…]
Marc: Jon, I can’t do it; it’s too hard.
Jon: Life is hard Marc, but you can’t give up. I can already see you getting better. If you strike me just once, you can have your money.
Marc: [thinking] hmmm… oh, I know.
Marc: Hoayah! [Swords crack together three times, then] yah! [sword hits Jon]
Jon: [laughing, proudly] haha! I knew you had it in you!
Marc: [Exhausted] I can’t believe it.
Jon: How much did you need?
Marc: A buck or so, just enough for a pack of Mentos.
Jon: Here, this should be enough. I hope you learned something today.
Marc: Yeah, I think I have. I’ll see you later Jon.
[Marc leaves the room, walking around outside]
Marc: I wonder if I really need the Mentos. Maybe just taking responsibility for my life would be enough.
[Keeps walking, cars and town noises around]
Marc: Here I am, the convenience store.
[bell on door rings]
Marc: Searching for candies. Hmm… Chocolate bars, gum. Ah hah! The mints, and there’s the blue and white box.
[Marc remembers the line “sweat and tears” from Jamieson and “hard road” from Jon.]
Marc: [the epiphany] Life really does take hard work, like sparing with Jon for only a few bucks. These are the most deserved two dollars I’ve ever had. Do I really need to waste them on a quick fix? Or should I use this to start a new, well earned life?
Marc: [walks slowly away] Sorry Mentos, but Jamieson’s done a lot for me over the years and I think its time I started paying him back.
Marc: [gasps, panicking] But wait! That little kid is taking the last pack!
Marc: [yelling across the store] THAT’S MY LAST CHANCE AT HAPPIENESS!
Marc: [to himself] Need a weapon. Broom. Similar to wooden sword. Will suffice.
Marc: [running over and beating up kid] THIS IS MY PRECIOUS CANDY TREASURE!
Marc: [running out the door (remember, there’s a bell on the door)] [in mock ‘Gohlem’ voice] Mentos, the precious.
Marc: [outside again] Now, when will I get to use it.
Marc: [knocked down by skateboarder or runner] Oomph.
Teenager: [moving past] Sorry dude.
[begin Mentos music]
Marc: [unwrapping and poping Mentos] Fresh breath. Clearing mind. Thoughts racing to me!
Marc: [in disgust] Euw, wait just a second… [record player scratches to halt] [Marc spits out candy] These taste terrible!
Marc: What was I thinking about, anyway? Meh, I’ll go back to Jamieson’s and get some dinner.
Marc: We’ve hope you’ve enjoyed our presentation of “Must Get Mentos”. This skit was produced by Marcus Davenport in the Audio Lab at Northern Michigan University. Marcus also played the lead role. Other roles were played by Dave Hansen, _____. Special Thanks to Jamieson McKay and Jon Cattell.
“Must Get Mentos”. Copyright 651 Studios, 2006.
