Ok, so the subject entry is way over-dramatized. This morning when Courtney and I went to breakfast at the MP (the food court in the dorms) Kelly, my ex-girlfriend, was working the register where we come in.<\/p>\n
“I noticed that you froze,” Court said to me later. I just sort of noticed Kelly was there, but there were people behind me so I didn’t feel like I could turn around. If i felt I could, i probably would have. For me, it’s just better to avoid the feeling of an old wound being dug open.<\/p>\n
“That’s the pussy way out.” This is the only ex I’ve ever had who I wasn’t friends with later. I dont know if i really want to be friends, but I would like to at least be on talking terms. Where I wouldnt feel bad about saying “Hi!”<\/p>\n
Anyway, more than getting me thinking about the past, I am thinking about the future. I gave up really easily on the last relationship. I couldn’t have done anything to make the relationship better, but perhaps the point of being with her, from a Karmic standpoint, was to learn how to be more caring or help people face their problems. I’d hate to think that i’d have to go through all this again (in another life?) because I took the easy way out.<\/p>\n
On a side note, I enjoy the variety of feelings I’ve had lately. From Passion to Heartache, they’re all very powerful feelings. Even now when my chest hurts from the emotional scar, I feel very much alive. I’m not saying I’m going to go out looking to be hurt, just that while it’s here, i’m going to let myself feel it.<\/p>\n