…and to keep my wall from getting too cluttered, I’m moving it all over to my LJ.<\/i><\/p>\n
JB Barnby wrote
\nat 1:12am
\nHow many Michigan college students does it take to change a light bulb? <\/p>\n
At Michigan State it takes two thousand. One to change the bulb, and the other one thousand nine hundred ninety nine to riot and set it on fire. <\/p>\n
At Michigan it takes three. One to change it and the other two to talk about how they did it every bit as good as an ivy leaguer. <\/p>\n
At Concordia it takes ten, one to change the bulb and the other nine to sit around and watch because it is the big entertainment of the evening. <\/p>\n
At Ferris it takes zero. They are all too drunk from the night before to care whether or not the lights are on. <\/p>\n
At Eastern it takes four. One to change the bulb, one to steal the new bulb from the store, one as a look out, and one to drive the getaway car. <\/p>\n
At Central Michigan it takes nine. One to screw it in and the other eight just screw each other in celebration. <\/p>\n
At Wayne State it takes zero. Who wants to be in Detroit after dark anyway? <\/p>\n
At Western it takes twelve, two to figure out how to screw it in and ten other drunks to find an ugly enough lamp shade to match their school colors. <\/p>\n
At Adrian it takes zero. There is no electricity in Adrian, only cows and corn. <\/p>\n
At NORTHERN it takes five. Four to strap on snow shoes and hike 10 miles to the nearest store to get the new bulb and one to screw it in. <\/p>\n
At Michigan Tech and Kettering University it takes twenty. One to change the bulb and the other nineteen to find a new way to engineer it so it never has to be changed again. <\/p>\n
At Hillsdale, Albion, and Kalamazoo it takes zero. They have Mommy and Daddy pay someone to do it for them. <\/p>\n
At Saginaw Valley it takes five, one to bring the weed and four to smoke it while they all imagine they screwed it in. <\/p>\n
At Oakland it takes zero, they can’t afford light bulbs just like they cannot afford a football team. <\/p>\n
At Macomb it takes zero, they live at home, mom and dad control the lights.<\/p>\n
—————————————————————————-<\/p>\n
Luke Gray (MSU) wrote
\nat 1:35pm October 1st, 2005
\n1. When you are sad – I will help get you drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad. <\/p>\n
2. When you are blue – I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you. <\/p>\n
3. When you smile – I will know you finally got laid. <\/p>\n
4. When you are scared – I will rag on you about it every chance I get. <\/p>\n
5. When you are worried – I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining. <\/p>\n
6. When you are confused – I will use little words. <\/p>\n
7. When you are sick – Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don ‘t want whatever you have. <\/p>\n
8. When you fall – I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass <\/p>\n
This is my oath…I pledge it till the end Why, you may ask? Because you are my friend. <\/p>\n
Send this to 10 of your closest friends, then get depressed because you can only think of two and one of them isn’t speaking to you right now anyway. <\/p>\n
Remember: A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body. Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel.<\/p>\n