{"id":1923,"date":"2025-07-07T18:21:00","date_gmt":"2025-07-07T22:21:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/home.woodchuckhunters.com\/blog\/?p=1923"},"modified":"2026-07-21T18:23:42","modified_gmt":"2026-07-21T22:23:42","slug":"8yo-want-to-contact-grandma-we-cut-off","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/home.woodchuckhunters.com\/blog\/2025\/07\/07\/8yo-want-to-contact-grandma-we-cut-off\/","title":{"rendered":"8yo want to contact grandma we cut off"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>Originally posted on r\/absentgrandparents with 23 upvotes and 27 comments<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">For context: We had to cut off my mother several years ago after my father died because she is incredibly toxic to my wife (making backhanded insults and never apologizing even when we call them out directly). I even tried talking with Mom directly, one on one, and telling her that any trusted friend, pastor, or therapist could look over our text messages and give her advice on how to move forward. She told me directly that she wouldn\u2019t do that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Recently, my 8yo daughter has been asking to see this grandma and wife and I are having a hard time explaining the situation to her. When it first started, we said that we had to \u201cput grandma in time out because she was being mean to momma and wouldn\u2019t apologize.\u201d Now that she\u2019s older this doesn\u2019t satisfy her and she\u2019s starting to get into \u201cfix it\u201d mode where she says, \u201cI will call grandma and explain that she needs to say sorry.\u201d I\u2019ve told her I tried to do this but I\u2019m not sure if she believes me. My daughter hasn\u2019t figured out how to call my mother yet, but she\u2019s pretty tech savvy and I think she could do this without our knowing if she had enough ambition. My wife also feels like any further communication with my mother without an apology constitutes me choosing my mother over my wife and I\u2019m not sure how she would take it if my daughter secretly contacted grandma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Has anyone else been through this and have advice on how to navigate it? When my mother inevitably dies, I don\u2019t want my daughter to be resentful that she didn\u2019t get to spend time with grandma, but I also am fully behind my wife in thinking that she deserves an apology for the shitty behavior of my mother. I\u2019m trying to balance the needs of my wife and the desire of my (soon to be teenage) daughter.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Originally posted on r\/absentgrandparents with 23 upvotes and 27 comments For context: We had to cut off my mother several years ago after my father died because she is incredibly toxic to my wife (making backhanded insults and never apologizing even when we call them out directly). I even tried talking with Mom directly, one [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15,32],"tags":[29],"class_list":["post-1923","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-friends-family","category-parenting","tag-reddit"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/home.woodchuckhunters.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1923","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/home.woodchuckhunters.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/home.woodchuckhunters.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/home.woodchuckhunters.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/home.woodchuckhunters.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1923"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/home.woodchuckhunters.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1923\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1924,"href":"https:\/\/home.woodchuckhunters.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1923\/revisions\/1924"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/home.woodchuckhunters.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1923"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/home.woodchuckhunters.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1923"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/home.woodchuckhunters.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1923"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}