As long as I’m fixated on this supposed red haired beauty, then every breakup I’ve been through has been the correct decision to make. I have a definiative goal, some specific person that I’m looking for where I can be selective and say “you fit, and you dont”. If my reality is actually to end up with a tiny blond girl or something, then maybe I’ve already passed the opportunity to meet her.
Was Stacy actually my Holy Grail? Was Katie? Cathy? Kelly? If I’ve already passed my opportunity, then life is lost and there’s no way to go back and fix it.
I like having direct and obvious signs in my life and there are NONE when finding your lifetime mate.
I’ll try to keep an open mind about future relationships, but I stay up late at night wondering if I didn’t give previous relationships enough of a chance. I’ve since learned about riding a relationship to a close. I can honestly say that my breakup with Courtney was the only breakup where I feel it was the absolute best choice we could have made.
I guess, I’d rather think that Goddess has given me a hint and that there’s something specific that I can look for. So when that time comes I’ll see someone and KNOW that she’s the person I need to work for.